Boiling Crawfish 101: So Easy Even a Girl Can Do It

The one time I almost cooked lobster was actually the first time I ever ate lobster.  I really was planning to do it, cook it, that is.  I went to the seafood counter of the grocery store, studied the tank and picked out the one.  He was deep red, big and slow, and looking right at me.  About five other unlucky souls were moving around him, but he never shifted his gaze, and neither did I.   I thought long and hard about the logistics of it all.  Bagging him up while he wiggled and squirmed.   Turning up the volume of the radio when I got back to the car so I couldn’t hear any rustling.  Bringing him home.  Boiling the water.   Gently placing him in the pot.  And the screaming.  I though so long, in fact, that the gentleman at the counter had time to pull him from the water and pretend to toss it at me, which, as I am sure you can imagine, broke my trance. He laughed as I jerked back to reality, raised his eyebrows and amusingly asked, “You want me to just steam it for ya?”

Now, I am usually not the type of person to show weakness, but here’s the thing – I consider myself a cook, not a murderer.  I couldn’t do this myself.  It’s one thing to purchase pre-cut meat from a butcher, take it home, cook it, make a pan sauce.  It is something entirely different to end a life. So, I resigned myself to have that seafood man do my bidding for me, which, I guess, made him my hired gun.

Despite the trepidation I felt at the thought of cooking a living being, I fell in love with lobster that day, but I still haven’t murdered any myself.

What is the significance of this? And why am I talking this much about lobster when I titled this blog post “Boiling Crawfish 101”?  Well, crawfish are pretty much like tiny lobsters.  The first time I decided to have a crawfish boil, I went through a lot of the same emotions as I did standing at that seafood counter choosing what lobster would meet his demise.  I distinctly remember the clicking sound of 100s (1000s?) of tiny crawfish claws while driving those little guys home from the seafood market.  But for some reason, unlike the lobster, I am able to cook them.  Maybe it’s because they are smaller and so many of them all crammed together in a bag, which does not sound pleasant come to think of it.  Who knows.  It is probably the same reason I can rationalize eating duck and rabbit but not lamb.

But I digress…

Hosting a crawfish boil can be intimidating, especially for someone who hasn’t been around it their whole life, and especially for a girl, since it seems the job of boiling typically falls to the dudes.

Also, everyone who has ever boiled crawfish has their particular and specific recipe and method.  If you talk to more than one person about the “right” way to boil crawfish, your head will spin with the contradictions.  When you break it down, though, it is a pretty simple process.

Season water.

Bring to a boil.

Add crawfish.

Eat.

Everything else is what they like to call lagniappe.

To date, I have hosted a handful of boils.  Each of them has been a bit stressful, as someone with far more experience than me is always in attendance, and as I mentioned earlier, I do not like to show weakness.  But something clicked (no pun intended) a few weeks ago.  I finally found all the right equipment, which really makes all the difference.  I felt confident with my method.  And, after some positive reinforcement, I even felt confident in my recipe.  This is not to say that I won’t ever tweak or change something later, based on (un?)solicited advice or recommendations, or even my own ever-growing experience, but it became a lot less intimidating once I felt like I knew what I was doing.

Here are my tips:

First, do NOT do this…I came across that video on Twitter, and the comments were hilarious.  It is definitely an interesting mix of ingredients, but I cannot imagine the result was that good.

Instead, I suggest the following:

I found this article on NOLA.com, which instructs you on everything from what stuff to buy to how to properly suck and peel the crawfish once they’ve properly cooked.

I bought my set up here, but instead of using the hose that came with the kit, I went to the local hardware store and bought a stainless steel hose/regulator, due to some problems I had with a hose  from a previous kit I purchased.  The stainless steel hose and regulator are just better quality and more reliable. You can purchase this on Amazon here.

In order to know how much water to add, I measured the inside of my pot from the bottom to the top.  It was 18 inches total, so I took a Sharpie and marked it halfway, at 9 inches.  I fill the water to just below that line.

Next, you need to order your crawfish, of course.  While live crawfish are plentiful and readily available right now in Louisiana, it may be hard to find in other parts of the world.  But, you can buy crawfish to be delivered from this website.  I cannot attest to the freshness or quality of the crawfish from this site, as I have never personally used it, but at a glance, it seems legit.

I use all the standard vegetables: onions, potatoes, garlic, lemons, corn, mushrooms.  Last time I added edamame, which was pretty good.  I have tried adding cauliflower, but this did not turn out too well.

Add whatever vegetables you want, but just remember that only the vegetables that need to actually boil should go in first.  The other vegetables, like the mushrooms and corn, should go in last so they do not overcook.

For my seasoning, I basically use what they recommend in the NOLA article, although I double the amount of the powder seasoning and add about one cup of bottled lemon juice in order to add more flavor to the boil.

I recommend against using ice to cool down the water, as I find that it dilutes the seasoning.  But some people swear by this step.  As for me, after I throw in the frozen corn and stir the mixture around a few times, I spray the outside of the pot with a water hose in order to cool the pot slightly.

After that, you’re ready to dump the pot on a table lined with newspaper.  Just make sure you have plenty of beer and paper towels on hand.

If you have any helpful tips, feel free to drop them in the comments below.